The Latex Bedroom

Someone wrote to me asking me to kit them out with a latex bedroom, the ultimate fantasy etc. But when it came to pricing he obviously wasn’t taking the thought seriously. I have a double sized set of valanced bottom sheets, duvet case, frilled bedspread and four pillow slips with matching frilled trim, all in thick rubber.

These have lasted years, but not without care. They’ve had a few puncture repairs from heels. They take ages to wash down, remove powdery watermarks, polish and dry off without exposing to the Daylight UV. Right now I don’t think they can take much more abuse from me, so I am thinking of making a new set in bronze. The materials alone will cost me (UK) £700. Then I have to spend all that time glueing around several yards of edges at finger walking pace, and at least double the yardage pleating and double seaming as I go along. See it’s not good enough I just have a play sheet! I want something that looks like a luxury suite!

Then there’s making the space for laying out all that rubber – assuming I am set up for it of course. Not that easy. Curtain making is one thing, where the weight of drapes is something you actively work against when heaving through a machine. But here I am glueing along the weighty edges of swathes of rubber. Gasing myself in fustration at it’s aroma, and getting high on Glue.

So is it worth it? well, for those into the rubber only I guess. Satin has that similar feel, but you cant get it wet. Rubber has that curious organic quality due to it’s smooth surface and stretch. As it weighs itself down, it conforms around you, clamps down even, seals around you, quivers and ripples when the air moves in such a way you really would believe it is alive. So even if you have invested in nothing else, no rubber outfit, then you can still tap into that sensation without the hassle associated with squeezing into tight rubber outfits.

Finally, many a time I have used it as a great background prop, draping, sliding over etc. I suppose it’s not really available to the average person because some people would eally have to justify why they are spending 000′s on their ‘sex life’.  Well, for me, it’s a no brainer, I have little else for means of self satisfaction. I’m normally very selfish about my sheets because everyone wants to have a go and play but don’t think about the responsibility of repairing them (if playing with spike heels on) and keeping them in shiny condition. It’s tooo much hassle for the average person – or average fetishist even. The price to me is representative of having an essential luxuary suite (for a fetishist) that I can PULL OUT FOR USE and hide away again. Even better – take it with me, wherever I go, and it doesn’t look like a crappy blow up bed.

So why did the bloke write to me? I guess he thought sheets were equivalent of silk ( well for start the weight is not equivalent, and weight alone would cost you a packet) Further more I think I was incensed that there was a hint of  ‘try the sheets I am ordering so I can have a discount’. For many people a latex bed will just remain a dream unless you choose to invest properly.

my rubber bed

Man Fishing in Latex

Latex mermaid by onna

When I was unable to use my mermaid tail, I managed to get some lad to give me his tight speedo knickers while i kept on my latex top. Latex proved a hit at the pool. I feel like I could get away with murder. Dressing as a latex mermaid is a cheeky way of getting the right attention. It’s fairly innocent, but this minx found a way of enjoying self bondage, in tight latex, in public hehehe. And any excuse to get some help for a slithering mermaid… proof is in the video here:

OK it might seem a bit pointless for the guys. Come to think about it, dont you need access to a decent pool?, and how do you even SHAG a mermaid anyway? well guys, there’s always the bathtub you can man heave us girlfish into. heh. I like strong arms mmmm. Wrap her in clingfilm and test out her squirming. If latex isn’t around, you can still play with that. I am so tiny I can fit both legs into a large moulded rubber stocking. Now that’s a cheap bondage sock!

I don’t want to tarnish the image of mermaid play as sex play. Mermaids are universally accepted as a safe aquaphile fantasy, safe enough even for our children to play with the idea of because sexual organs are something left out of the mystery. But to me, mermaids are still very sexual beings. As a kid I remember visual stories of them seducing men, and often being topless. It’s true I watched Bagpuss. Bagpuss?! (it was a show for tots and I distinctly remember the topless mermaid animation.) I even bought the DVD recently to prove my memory wasn’t false.

Anyway, back to using mermaid games as sex play.. well, I do anyway. Try it. Its a sweet way of getting over the lady if she’s abit coy about the latex thing, or bondage thing for that matter, let alone breathplay. See, you dont even need to do the whole sex thing. For a lady, the whole artful fantasy of feeling beautiful and graceful, helpless out of water, is foreplay. You’ll get great pictures in the bathtub even.

She’ll start to be aware of her body more, and work on that flexibility to get more arty results. And fellas!… dont think women don’t appreciate a dude in a shiny black rubber wetsuit. Get ‘yer asses down the lido with a monofin, you’ll soon work out those abs in the pool. Look after yourselves, Lady Onna likes to see men in rubber, train up and please us! Or do you need discipline?

Now ladies, I just gave you a big hint on how to go man fishing, in the safest possible way. Que the lifeguards, they normally have ace fit bodies. Sadly all these ones were taken though, and the boy who’s speedos I knicked (sorry  …borrowed) I bloody scared him off cos this mermaid looks a bit of a shiny black sealskinned man eater!